21. Roma

Date: June 15, 1991
Age: 14

Hi Kid
This is our last night in Rome--of to Florence tomorrow. So far we have run into the C's and the McC's--probably H and D tomorrow. We'll write from our next stop.
Love, Dad
P.S. Italian rock is pretty good.

All the names (which I've abbreviated) are my dad's colleagues--they were all in Rome for the International AIDS Conference. It's held in some nice locale every other year, and my dad usually turns it into an opportunity for a vacation. As I said yesterday, I don't regret staying back in the US during this trip, especially since I got to see Guns n' Roses, I would have liked to have visited the AIDS conference--lots of seminars and lectures and news about the latest developments in research. I think my dad always presented a paper, or gave a lecture, or was on a panel, or something. I do feel very removed from his professional life, and not only because I was never with him on any business trips, but also because I never seriously read any of his articles or books, and he's written many. I remember once he was visiting a crack den for research, and my brothers and I were excited to hear all about it, because a crack den would never be a part of our daily lives or common lexicon. He wouldn't talk about it in front of me, because I was too young to hear about it. I was probably around the age of this trip to Italy. I felt very left out, and it seemed inconsistent to not let me hear about a crack den, but to let me see those stupid greeting cards from his friends, or watch films with sex and violence, etc.

Sometime later--maybe even a few years later--the book was published for which this research was done. I read a little about his visit to the crack den. There had been a girl there, my age, trading sex for crack, and I think was even servicing men while my dad was around. So yes, I understand why he didn't think it was appropriate for me to hear about it.

This next part, I could be making up, and I need to uncover this book (of whose title I can't even remember) to verify my memory: I want to say the girl propositioned him, and he questioned his feelings and fidelity? Again, I'm not sure. I could be confusing my dad's book with a Nathaniel Hawthorne morality tale...

As for his postscript about Italian rock: having spent four months in Italy, I must disagree.

Today is Father's Day. I have a card to send him, and unfortunately it's still in a Duane Reade plastic bag. I will send it tomorrow. I did reach him on the phone just now--a stilted conversation that lasted 2 and a half minutes.